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Intimacy and Relationships: Finding Your Way

‘You in Urology’ is intended for people living with urological conditions (including bladder cancer, prostate cancer and overactive bladder) and their caregivers. The information provided by Astellas is for informational purposes only and is not meant to replace the advice of a healthcare professional.

 

This website was initiated and funded by Astellas Pharma Europe. All patient and healthcare organisations involved in the development of the platform received a fee for their time.

Sex and intimacy with a urological condition

Sex and intimacy can look different when you have a urological condition. However, different doesn’t have to mean worse or non-existent.


You might encounter challenges that impact you and your relationships. But with the right information and preparation, you can still have a fulfilling sex life and relationship.

Communicating with your partner about sex and intimacy

While sex and intimacy might feel different, you can navigate these changes with your partner. This might be with an existing partner, or with a new one. By being open, creative and supportive you can maintain or restore intimacy. Here are some steps you can take:

  1. Have open and honest conversations with your partner. It can be uncomfortable, but don’t withdraw or keep silent. Talk to your partner about what feels good, what’s frustrating and what you hope for.1,2,3
  2. Be patient with yourself and your partner. It may take time to feel ready emotionally and explore what is now normal for you.4
  3. Penetration isn’t the only way to be intimate. Explore alternative forms of intimacy like touch, kissing, mutual massage, or even talking or holding hands.4
  4. Speak to your healthcare team. You may find it difficult to speak to your doctor or nurse about sex, but it’s important you get the information and, in some cases, help you need. Speak to your doctor or nurse about what may work for you.1,2,5 Speaking with a counsellor or sex therapist may also help you.1
  5. Plan intimate time. Spontaneity might not work like it used to. However, by making some small changes you may find you can easily overcome any concerns you have.5
  6. Do things that make you laugh or feel playful together. Take walks, cook, or revisit shared hobbies to build emotional closeness.

If your libido is low, you may feel that you just do not want to have sex or be intimate. It’s okay to feel like this. But if this is something that bothers you, it’s important to speak to your healthcare team so they can offer you support and advice. If you have a partner, letting them know this is how you feel can help them understand your boundaries and limitations.

Dating in a way that works for you

If you are not in a relationship, it is natural to worry about meeting a new partner or about your sex life. You may need some time to come to terms with what has happened. It may help to talk to a counsellor or sex therapist.1


Not everyone is in a relationship or ready to date.

It’s okay to ask: Seeking professional help

It’s important to seek support and speak up if you are experiencing sex and intimacy challenges. Seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a way to reclaim a part of life that is important to you and your partner.

 

Your healthcare team can share more information on the types of support that could help with the specific challenges you are having.4,5 Relationship or sex therapy can also provide a safe space to explore any emotional issues you may be experiencing.4

 

We have created a conversation guide to help you talk to your healthcare team about issues related to intimacy and relationships.

  1. Macmillan Cancer Support. Sex life and prostate cancer. Available from: https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/impacts-of-cancer/sex-life-and-prostate-cancer. Last accessed: April 2026
  2. American Sexual Health Association. Tips to keep incontinence from interfering with your sex life. Available from: https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/tips-to-keep-incontinence-from-interfering-with-your-sex-live/. Last accessed: April 2026
  3. Cancer Research UK. Your sex life and what can change it. Available from: https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/physically/sex/sex-life-changes. Last accessed: April 2026
  4. Cancer Research UK. How cancer can affect your sexuality and sex life. Available from: https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/physically/sex/effects. Last accessed: April 2026
  5. Continence Foundation of Australia. Sexuality. Available from: https://www.continence.org.au/continence-health/sexuality. Last accessed: April 2026

MAT-GB-NON-2025-00407 May 2026